Elementary level

by Peter Griffith

 

Dottie and Charles are cousins – and they hate each other.
When Charles comes to spend a day at Dottie's house, one disaster leads to another until everything that could possibly go wrong has gone wrong.
Is a happy ending possible?

 

 

Photos of 'My Cousin Charles'

 

 

Extract from the script 'My Cousin Charles'

Dottie: What do you want to play?
Charles: I don’t know. What have you got?
Dottie: Do you like playing football?
Charles: Yes. I’m very good at football.
Dottie: Well, we can play football.
Charles: My parents bought me a football with David Beckham’s signature on it.
Dottie: Oh. Well my football is just a cheap old football. But we can still play with it.
Charles: You can go in goal. I’ll shoot.
Dottie: All right. But we must keep away from this side here, because our neighbour isn’t very friendly.
Charles: Are you ready?
Dottie: Yes. (Charles takes the ball and performs a sequence of impressive manoeuvres) Are you going to shoot, then?
Charles: When I’m ready.
Dottie: Well come on, then.
Charles: When I’m ready. (Charles kicks elegantly, and Dottie easily catches the ball)
Dottie: Saved! Now it’s my turn to shoot.
Charles: No. I’m the striker. I’m Wayne Rooney.
Dottie: What?
Charles: I’m the striker - I score the goals. Give me the ball.
Dottie: So I have to spend the whole time in goal?
Charles: Of course.
Dottie: Oh. Right. Here’s the ball then. (Charles once again goes into a sequence of balletic ball-technique exercises) Well aren’t you going to shoot?
Charles: We can’t play here. The sun is in my eyes. We must put the goal over there.
Dottie: We can’t put the goal there. That’s where Mr Swother lives.
Charles: Who is Mr Swother?
Dottie: Mr Swother is our neighbour. He doesn’t like children. And especially, he doesn’t like children who play football.
Charles: When I kick a football, I know exactly where it goes. I won’t kick the ball over your neighbour’s fence.
Dottie: Well, if the ball lands in his garden, you go and get it back - OK?
Charles: It won’t land in his garden.
Dottie: Well come on - shoot then.
Charles: Don’t be impatient. You’re putting me off. (Charles kicks the ball through Mr Swother's window)
Dottie: Oh no! Now look what you’ve done.
Charles: It isn’t my fault. You didn’t save it. You didn’t catch the ball.
Dottie: But it was nowhere near the goal.

by Peter Griffith

 

We are in great danger - a terrifying monster is about to destroy the world!

 

And the only person who can save us is... a small girl with silver hair?

 

 

Photos of 'Silver Jane'

 

 

Extract from the script 'Silver Jane'

 Jane: Lots of old people have white hair. But no-one else has silver hair, like me.
 Agnes: You are our special silver baby.
 Jane: And then, I seem to know so much.
 Angus: Do you?
 Jane: Yes – at school I seem to know... more than anyone else.
 Agnes: Well, we’ve tried to teach you things.
 Jane: Yes, but you can’t even read and write... and I can do advanced trigonometry in my head.
 Angus: Yes, you always were clever.
 Jane: And I seem to be stronger than other people.
 Agnes: Stronger?
 Jane: Yes. I’m stronger than... a bear.
 Angus: I’m sure that’s because of the good food your mother gives you.

by Peter Griffith

 

The terrifying Lord Morbus wants to take over Underearth and fill it with horrible man-eating woks! Only a truly good person can stop the evil Lord. So the shy village girl Gala is chosen to save the world. Armed with nothing but a mirror and a daisy-chain, Gala sets off on a dangerous journey over mountains and rivers, through tunnels and swamps – until she finally comes face to face with Lord Morbus…

Will Gala find a way to defeat the dreaded enemy before she is eaten? And which of her two travelling-companions can she trust? And how can she hope to save the world, when she is so shy?

 

 

Photos of 'The Dark Lord and the White Witch'

 

 

Extract from the script 'The Dark Lord and the White Witch'

Morbus: Gala my dear, you're so silly. Do you really think you can defeat Lord Morbus, the lord of darkness, the creator of the woks, the ruler of death, the kind of Underearth?
Gala: I don't know. But I can try.
Morbus: I am the most powerful person in Underearth! No-one can defeat me. No-one can stop me from being the king of Underearth.
Gala: What can I do?
Morbus: What can you do? What can you do? Let's see what you can do. You can amuse me a bit before you die. Wok! Come here!
Wok: Wok wok wok kark wok wok
Morbus: He's sweet, isn't he? And what woks like to do most is...eat people! Wok – come here. I've got something nice and juicy for you.
Wok: Wok wok lekker lekker lekker wok lekker wok wok
Morbus: Gala, my dear, I would like to invite you to a little dinner party. Not one where you eat, but one where you are eaten...